The Macbook was acting weird. I wanted to get a look inside and see if something was loose. The only things stopping we were those dastardly "pentalobe screws". A week later my IFIXIT screwdriver arrived. I pressed it into good use immediately and carefully saved aside those little bastard screws. Quickly I saw the problem had nothing to do with hardware. It was a Mac. They all act weird. I closed up the patient and flipped it right-side up. It was a sight to behold. The Majesty. The Regality. The Grandeur! I opened the lid. I pressed the power button. It booted.
All went well with the computer. Maybe while I had it open I should have upgraded the wimpy 62GB SSD but I decided to put this puppy back on the street the way it was. After all, the real repair needed was the owner. She needed time to heal after switching over from the niceties of a pc to the sparsities of a Macbook Air. Like the delete key only working backwards; the single menu bar; the goofy dock! She will get better in time, I am sure.
Get a Dell.