DO IT YOURSELFERS REJOICE!
Dusted off the old iPod, hooked it up, and to my dismay the screen kept flickering back and forth between the logo, and a battery animation stating that the iPods Batteries were extremely low.
Saw a remark on ifixit's search result that said something to the effect of, "Got a dead gadget, don't get rid of it, repair it." So I did a bit of youtube browsing to see how difficult the separation of the face and the case would actually be, and surprisingly enough they said just order a tool slide it around and your halfway done. I would have done this years ago if I knew it was going to be so simple once properly equipped.
Found my old 5th Generation iPod in a closet one day, plugged it in an it wouldn't hold a charge. So I took the initiative to repair it myself, it took me more time to figure out my exact model to track down a new Battery than it did to actually place my order with ifixit. The package delivered in two days with basic shipping, now I am back up and running. I love older technology because it is more open to being loaded up from my existing library than its newer counterparts. The current IPhones and IPads require a bit more finagling to load up mp3, videos, etc. unless you have purchased everything through iTunes exclusively, and let's be honest, who hasn't acquired some media through other means? A lot of stuff isn't even available through their site.